Often times...

I have tried to understand the karmic debts Im here to repay.
Often times I have tried to understand why can we not love anybody as they are.
Often times have I prayed for patience, but demonstrated none.
Often times life seems like this silly futile, thing to me--full of people you are attached to, obligated to, under the emotional control of.
Often times I have felt like a moth in its cocoon-struggling to break free, yet not wanting to be helped for fear of never being able to fly on its own.
Often times I have tried to reason why people play mind games, trying to make you responsible for their happiness/sadness and then make you feel guilty for not "living up" to their unreasonable expectations.
Often times I have wanted to run far away and start all over again.
Often times I have tried to love people inspite of their unbearable attitudes, but I have failed.

When the life givers blame you for everything bad in their lives and consider raising you a penance for their sins, you probably start wondering if you can do anything at all right. Thats what happened to this friend of mine. She lost all her confidence and is right now in a very miserable state of affairs. I must go and speak to her. But I needed to clear my head before I start out lecturing :D -- and hence the blog.

Man --I should've been a psychology major--if not anything it would help me to be less critical of people as I would at least understand sub conscious patterns of behavior triggered by families/environments!

God help me, forgive me and give me strength,patience,wisdom and the power to love!