Power games.

I somehow like this blog more than all the previous ones I created(its more private mebbe thats why!...ppl alwz misinterpret stuff on the other two). But I do need three blogs neway.... Im very moody...and so my need for different blogs to represent different states of my mind.All the blogs are a different side of me though....they're all ME through n through

I know the blog title is a lil different from the actual text of the blog....But "power games" is wat I really wanted to write about... People love getting attention...love being in control of somebody else's emotions... I dunno what pleasure do they get in playing these games.... is friendship all about controlling the other person and torturing them with ur whims just to see if they break down and submit to you....or be what you want them to be?
At least I dont believe in this kind of machination. Friendship for me is equal to freedom....to do what you want, state whatever you feel like without having to be worried that the other person might take offense purposefully just to hurt you and make you act the way they want you to act....or fulfill their selfish motives by blackmailing you emotionally!

I was discussing this with my best friend Rikki yesterday...He told me that people like it when you "woo" them back and some will go to any extent just to get that kind of attention. What he said was really an eye opener for me... I mean...here I was, trying to set things right as if things had genuinely gone wrong...n there, people were just enjoying the kind of control they had on me emotionally. I mean...thats really sick!!...why would anybody want to get that kind of attention by being rude?....I know thats a useless question to ask...but their rudeness does hurt...that too when they dont tell you the reason(does it even exist?)...the main objective of my writing this blog is to get rid of the emotional control that so many people have over me right now....of course ...its alwz a question of wat I choose to do....and just because I choose to not be affected and not give them the silly attention they ask for by withdrawing themselves does not mean Im not friends with them anymore...it just means that they cannot control me to emotionally respond to their lack of response to my attempts to set things right(those things that din even go wrong in the first place!!Hmph!)

Well, Im prolly too immature to understand the dynamics of "friendship" as other "grown ups" see it. N prolly thats why I have beautiful relationships with ppl like Rikki n Harry n Jiten (who also believe in the principle of "Live n let live") on one hand, while I have perpetual clashes with some of my other friends for no apparent reasons!

If two people respond to each other normally without having to hide anything, thats friendship.
If its not normal, its not friendship...N i certainly dont understand abnormal stuff unless it is made very clear to me in words or actions....Im really dumb u see.

Previously I used to try my best to set things right....all because I wanted to save the friendship... but now that I have understood ppl's need for emotional control over me...I am not gonna do that anymore.... I want to be free....n I choose to be free. If they wish to resume being friends...they are most welcome...but they cannot attract my attention in silly ways....N they certainly cannot manipulate me to get what they want. You're right....I have too high expectations....I need my real friends to be frank abt things...or at least give me an indication of whether they are actually hurt and if that is true then is there anything I can do to set things right.

Its not as if I dont care...but I dont want to be taken advantage of by people who dont really understand friendship....that hurts big time....N I now choose to not be hurt.